Trigger Foods

The further I get into my weight loss, the more self-control I'm developing, but there are still some foods that I have to avoid overdoing. I like to call them trigger foods. The foods that I still have a lot of difficulty with. When I'm presented with the opportunity to eat these foods, I have a very hard time saying no, and when I do eat them, I have an even harder time stopping once I'm good and full. I've also found that the more I have them, the more I crave them, and it becomes harder to listen to the rational part of my brain that tells me I don't need it.

When I've been successful with staying away from my trigger foods, keeping to my meal plans and daily kilojoule intake is significantly easier. But, if they're around, it's almost like I revert straight back to the eating habits I had 5 months ago. Over the past couple of weeks while I wasn't really watching my eating as much, I indulged in some of these trigger foods, and I found it really hard to give them up again. It reinforced to me that this is a long and slow process, and that weight loss isn't the only measure of how far I've come. If I want to reach a place where I'm truly healthy and happy, I need to focus on changing my mind, as well as my shape. I may always have compulsive feelings towards food, but I want to work towards breaking that down as much as I can, while building on my ability to counteract it.

Here are some of my biggest triggers:

Chinese food. I love chinese food. Specifically Chow Mein and fried Dim Sims, but almost any will do.

Chocolate. The darker the better. A little chocolate is ok, but I just cannot have any in the house. It never lasts more than a day or two between the fiance and I.

Pizza. It's just too easy to eat WAY too many slices of pizza. Doesn't help that it's usually covered in delicious cheese.

Right now my plan of attack is to abstain from my trigger foods for a while. Let myself dry out a little. I have no doubt that I will eat them again, and I really do believe that it's fine to have them in moderation. I'm not at the point where moderation with these foods is easy, but I'm working on it.

Do you have any trigger foods? If so, what are they and how do you stop them from becoming a problem?

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 16 (AKA my first gain)

So it turns out that for the past few weeks I haven't just been slack about posting on this here blog, I've also been slack on my weight loss. As a result, I've had my first gain of 2.5 kg over the past two weeks. Yikes!

Gains happen, and this one is probably overdue, but it's still not a nice feeling to slide so quickly backwards. Probably worse than knowing that I've gained weight, however, is knowing that I've made some really bad decisions and indulged in terrible habits that I was fighting so hard to break. It was getting easier to say no to the bad habits, and I still let them creep back in during a time of weakness. Now, I have to go back to the beginning and almost start again. But, if that's what I have to do, then that's what I will do.

I've seen versions of this quote posted on many blogs and pinterest boards over the last few months, and it couldn't be more relevant to me right now. I have a choice to make, and at the end of the day, neither option is easy. But there is one option that will make me happy, and I have to keep reminding myself of this.

To help me get back to it, I've broken down all of the little things that I need to do to help me stay on track:

1. Count kilojoules - I haven't recorded kilojoules or even kept track in my head for weeks. I've spoken before about how invaluable recording my intake has been, and it's a fundamental part of getting back on track.
2. Drinking water - I was abysmal at this before I lost the plot, but it really is important in helping me to lose weight and keep my body running well.
3. Exercising - I have not exercised in nearly a month (eep!), and I really need to just kick myself up the butt and do it. The cold weather and end of Daylight Savings has meant that my walks on the beach have stopped, so I need to decide on a new way to get moving that will keep me motivated.
4. Blogging more - blogging keeps me focused. Putting my thoughts down in writing helps me to better understand myself and my struggles, which in turn makes it easier to push on. Writing and talking about losing weight on a regular basis also motivates me no end, and keeps it at the forefront of my mind. Not to mention, I'm incredibly motivated and cheered on by the amazing people who stop by this space every now and then and even leave comments. We may be strangers but you've already done so much to help me along my way, so thank you.
5. Reading weight loss blogs - I've found some amazing weight loss blogs over the past few months, whose writers inspire and delight me. Unfortunately, I've been neglecting them too over the past month, and it's high time to get back to reading them regularly.
6. Organising my weekly meals - this is something that I was pretty fantastic at until very recently (if I to say so myself) and it helped to keep me on track. This week I will get back into the habit of creating a weekly meal plan and doing my regular once a week shop.
7. Say no to takeaway - I will not eat takeaway this week. I will not eat takeaway this week. I will not eat takeaway this week. I will not eat takeaway this week. Takeaway food is a big downfall for me. It's rarely healthy and is one of those trigger foods that I tend to lose control over. I am more likely to binge on takeaway food that anything I make at home. Unfortunately we've recently found a new Chinese restaurant that does a yummy chow mein with the most delicious crunchy noodles. I could eat those crunchy noodles by the kilo. But I will not, no matter how delicious those crunchy little bastards are.
8. Set time aside for me - I need time to be selfish. Work has been really picking up lately, which is amazing, but it's left me a little time poor. Taking even a little chunk of time and only doing something I feel like doing will help me to feel less busy and out of control.

There are a lot of steps to take, and I could probably even add some more, but I will take my time and do what I can. I would love to jump straight back to doing all of these things simultaneously, but it's definitely more realistic to look at it as a gradual thing. If nothing else, this week I would like to count my kilojoules and not eat takeaway. These two things are pretty achievable, yet important. I will let you know how I go!

Have you ever had a gain and/or fallen off track? If so, what helped you to get back on track?

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 14

I'm back! I apologise for my lack of posts over the past two weeks, I've been so very slack. Because I didn't weigh in last week, this weeks post is a bit of a two-for-one. I'm happy to report a loss of 0.7 kg over the last two weeks.

I was pretty happy when I finally stepped back on the scales today and saw a loss. The last two weeks haven't been my best. Some bad news has made it a stressful time, and I've let myself slide. I've been mindful not to gorge myself like I would have pre-fresh start, but I have had more naughty meals than I should have.

To be completely honest, I'm feeling frustrated at the moment. I feel like I'm constantly trying to get back on the wagon, and every time I do something goes wrong to knock me off. Though I'm proud of myself for not going back to old habits when this happens, I'm frustrated that I haven't been able to keep up any sort of momentum. I'm hoping that the ability to maintain focus and good habits even through bad times is something that comes with time, and at the end of the day all that matters is that I'm still here willing to do what it takes to get back to it. Here's hoping that I get back to a place where I feel more consistent.

This week, it's time for my 3 months progress photos, so be sure to check back for those soon! I'm anxious but excited to see if there's a noticible difference.

Guess Who Didn't Count Their Kilojoules Last Week...

...and remembered why it is so important! If you saw my weigh in from last week, you probably also saw that I had a bit of a naughty week. I got busy, lost some focus, and as a result I skipped a lot of things I shouldn't have, including recording my intake. While a bad week isn't really fun, it really helped to reinforce for me that I NEED to count kilojoules. It really works for me, and when I don't I tend to over-eat, under-eat, forget things that I've eaten and eat bad, bad foods. Basically I go a bit crazy and all over the place.

I did much better than I thought I would have. I didn't resort to my old eating habits, and I still tried to eat really good nutritious foods, but I did see a lot of issues that I don't really have when I'm on top of my kilojoules. It helps in so many little ways, like:

It keeps me accountable. What gets measured gets done. 'Tis true. Having an accurate account of all of the food that I've eaten somehow keeps me responsible and making better choices. I think that knowing my kilojoule happy zone, and have a running tally to compare it to makes me step back and really think if more food is worth it. I know that if I step over the happy zone, that I'm doing myself a disservice and taking away from the progress that I'm working so hard to keep going.

It stops me from overlooking foods. If one good thing came out of not counting kilojoules for the last week, it's that I'm now more confident in my ability to keep a mental count. I did pretty well. Despite that, though, there were sometimes foods I'd consumed that I would overlook or forget later in the day (seriously I have a mind like a sieve). Most of the time this probably isn't/wasn't a big deal, but keeping a record prevents it from becoming an issue.

It helps me to tell when I'm trying to eat for non-hunger reasons. Sometimes I just want food because I want food. When this happens, I don't always have very good reasoning skills and having a record of my food that day can help me to see quite clearly when I'm wanting to eat just for the sake of it.

It makes me think about my choices every day. If I have to log my foods into my records every day, then everyday I am forced to think about my weight loss and what I'm doing to get healthy. If I think about it daily, then it's easier to stay on track and motivated. I won't let it slip as easily.

It helps to control my portions. While eating healthy food is a great thing, it doesn't help me if I'm eating too much. Calculating kilojoules and recording them gives me a really good idea of how much of anything I should eat, and makes me stick to it. Especially because I can easily see how quickly eating that little bit extra adds up.

I know this post has turned into a bit of an ode to kilojoule counting, but it really does help me so very much. Out of any of the many tools and strategies I am using to lose weight, it is by far the most valuable. Last week helped me to learn a really good lesson, and I'm keen to keep going.

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 10

Only another itty bitty loss of 0.5 kg this week. I say itty bitty, but really it's a decent loss and I'm not unhappy with it at all.

This week I've had a lot of trouble with my appetite. I've had none. It's meant that a lot of days this week I've struggled to eat enough to get to my absolute minimum necessary energy intake, and when that happens my weight loss slows down significantly. I'm not exactly sure why this happens, but it's definitely a sign that eating that little is not good. The problem is, I've never really had this problem before, so I don't know what to do. I really don't want to resort to eating junk foods loaded with sugars and fats, just to bulk up my intake. Hopefully my appetite will right itself soon, because I'm keen for a really good week.

In more exciting news, the fiancé and I booked a trip to Melbourne for the end of July to see the Liverpool game while they're here. I've never been to Melbourne before and am so, so excited. It's also a bit of extra motivation to keep going strong with my weight loss. Especially considering it will mean a little bit of shopping beforehand to ensure I don't freeze my butt of while I'm there.

Cracker Youtube Exercise and Fitness Channels

Confession time. I'm a bit of a Youtube junkie. I watch Youtube daily and am absolutely addicted to watching beauty, comedy and nutrition videos. My latest obsession, on the 'tube, however, has been exercise videos, and I thought I'd share some of my favourite channels and workouts today.

Youtube has done a lot of growing up in the last few years, and now has a lot of really decent and professionally presented content. While you'll still find a whole host of dodgy iPhone shot amateur workouts or illegally uploaded rips of copyrighted material, there are also a great deal of high quality fitness and exercise channels by fitness professionals and enthusiasts. The best thing about it to, is that it's free!

The first channel that I've been loving is Yoga Vidya. It's videos are mostly yoga and meditation related, and they have an awesome range of beginners videos. Probably not surprisingly my favourite at the moment is their 20 minute class for complete beginners.

My next favourites are the Lean Machine boys. The fellas have a heap of home workout videos, tips, tricks and useful information. They are also phenomenal eye candy.

Finally, for their whole host of different aerobic style videos I've been using Fitness Blender. Their videos are really easy to follow and each movement is well explained. They also have a range of intensities, target areas and workout lengths. The one I've really been liking is their Beginner Boot Camp Workout.

The ability to access free and good quality exercise videos on Youtube makes working out so easy. If the channels and workouts in the post aren't up your street, then with a bit of a look around I'm almost certain you will be able to find something that you will enjoy too.

Let me know in the comments if you've used workout videos from Youtube before, and definitely leave any recommendations from channels or videos I should take a look at!

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 8

Another week, another weigh-in. Only a little one of half a kilo this week. Check out the teeny tiny blue slice below (you may need a magnifying glass).

I would have liked a bigger loss this week, but can only blame myself. I had an amazing week up until Friday, when I was much too naughty on a night out with my fabulous girlfriends and our men. It also didn't help that I've been incapacitated after a bit of a fall on Tuesday at work, when I took some big chunks out of my foot. As a result, I've been unable to walk, let alone exercise. The good news is my foot is healing nicely and I've been able to get back to regular exercising. I'm also back to being focused and am ready for the week ahead.

One great thing that happened this week (today in fact), is that I HAD to go shopping for some new clothes. I've gotten to the point that most of my clothes are too big! I've gone down a full clothing size, which was a really amazing feeling. Maybe even more impressive, I had nothing but positive thoughts when I was in the change rooms trying them on. Definitely a weight loss highlight of the week!

Getting Moving!

This week I'm trying to knuckle down and get serious about exercising. Up until now I've been focusing a lot on food and battling compulsive eating behaviours, so exercise hasn't been a huge priority. Now that healthy eating is becoming easier and more routine, though, it's time to get to my fitness!

I'm not going to lie, I hate exercising. I find it so difficult to just get off of my butt and get moving. In the past, a lot of this has stemmed from worrying about people seeing me and judging. Writing that now doesn't make a whole lot of sense, as I know that almost no one would judge someone for exercising, and anyone who did is just an arsehole. But it really stopped me from even considering doing something as simple as going for a walk. To overcome this I would tell myself that I would do fitness tapes at home where no one would see me, and I would be comfortable. The problem was, I just didn't find them motivating. I've never stuck to them.

This time around, I'm getting over my fear of getting out there because... I just don't care. Something has changed this time and I'm not worried about any of the things that would usually prevent me from going for it. Maybe I'm more motivated or have stopped making excuses for myself, but I'm actually looking forward to exercising and am finding things that I enjoy.

I'm starting out slow by going for a walk on the beach each day. I live in a coastal town and am literally just down the road from one of the most beautiful beaches.

Technically it's two bays joined together and to walk them both and back is around 30 minutes, which is perfect to start me off.

I'm absolutely loving going for these walks. I spent my childhood at the beach with my surfer Dad, so I have a huge love for the beach. The smell of the salt air  the sand, the waves. I adore everything about the beach and hate that I've avoided it for so long because of my weight. Being there also makes me really excited to lose the weight and feel comfortable to go for a swim.

Just for fun, here are a couple of the photos I took of the rock pools.

I'm so glad that I've found something that I'm enjoying. It makes getting started so much easier. I'm looking forward to getting out and doing some more exploring while getting fit as well!

Let me know what you've found, that works to keep you motivated and working out in the comments!

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 6

Only a small loss of 0.5 kg this week. It's not a particularly great loss, but I've had a good week on plan. I know there will be weeks where I do everything perfectly and see little or no loss, so I'm not unhappy with the loss.

I am really happy with how disciplined I've been this week. Sticking to everything has been simpler than ever, and it feels like each week is becoming easier. This coming week I hope to keep up my good work, and hopefully I'll be rewarded with a bigger loss.

Tiny (Imagined?) Changes

I once heard someone compare weight loss to a roll of paper towel (no really, stay with me). When you start a new roll, taking off five or so sheets doesn't appear to change the size of the roll. As the roll gets smaller, however, taking off the same number of sheets starts to make a more noticeable different to the rolls size. Still with me?

So far I'm down nearly 15 kgs, which I'm sure anyone would agree is a lot of weight. The problem is, because I've got so much to lose, the changes I think that I'm seeing are almost imperceptible. They're so small that I almost feel like I'm imagining things.

The one place I'm almost sure I'm starting to see a difference is in my face. My cherub cheeks are a little less plump and my spare chins are shrinking away. I'm also fairly sure that my clothes are getting looser. I haven't shrunk out of anything yet, but it feels like most of my clothes are sitting a lot better on me. Other than that though, it's impossible to tell.

I've been working hard for three months now, and I really can't wait to see some concrete physical changes to be excited about. I'm not getting down about it, but I really want to be able to look in the mirror and see that all of the good things I have been doing are showing.

Has anyone else felt the same at some point? And when did you first notice that you could see a difference?

Weekly Weigh-In: Week Five

I've been working hard to get back on track after no loss last week, and have been rewarded with a 1.2 kg loss!

I've still got more to work on, after last week. I haven't really exercised at all this week, and my water intake has been a bit hit and miss. On the plus side, I have been really good with my eating and my motivation is definitely back.

Even though it hasn't been a perfect week, I've been able to prove to myself that I can come back from a really bad one. 

One Month In!

I've just realised that I've been blogging for a whole month! When I started I was so nervous about putting myself out there and the response I would get. I needn't have been, because it's been such a positive experience so far. It's been both motivating and cathartic.

Without a doubt, though, the best part of this whole thing has been connecting with some inspiring and wonderfully encouraging people. I love following the journeys of others who are themselves working on losing weight and/or improving their health, as well as hearing their thoughts and encouragement on my own experiences. To anyone who has been reading and following this blog, and to anyone who does so in the future, thank you. Just having you here is motivating me to make the positive changes I want to in my life.

Food Fight

I've said it before and I'll no doubt say it an inordinate number of times again, that for me weight loss begins and ends with food. In today's post, I wanted to share what I'm doing, food-wise, to battle the fat.

1. Kilojoule Counting
Years of horrific eating have left me with almost no sense of how good or bad foods are, nor how much of them I should eat. Having a daily kilojoule limit of between 5000 and 6000 kilojoules (roughly 1200 to 1430 calories), and keeping a record of everything I eat helps enormously to correct for this lack of knowledge. Doing it religiously also keeps me accountable and firmly planted in reality about what I'm eating. It makes seeing mistakes in my eating a breeze and takes away the ability for me to fall into denial about what I've eaten.

At the moment I'm using a free version of the Shape Up app on my phone. It's a decent enough app (although the features are a little limited with the free version) and it's handy to be able to input my foods on the go. The only reason I use this over MyFitnessPal is because it has the option to use kilojoules. Here in Australia pretty much all food labelling uses kilojoules, rather than calories, to measure energy. MyFitnessPal looks to be the better app, but unfortunately they still don't have the option to record or measure in kilojoules.

2. Meal Replacement Shakes
Meal replacements have always been something that I looked down on and had no interest in. When my partner started on a meal replacement scheme to lose weight last year, I repeatedly voiced my concerns about how healthy they were. In the end, I struggled so much trying to lose weight with food, because I couldn't curb my compulsive and binge eating behaviours, that I caved and gave it a go. I'm glad I did because I've really benefited from the structure it provides. Sustaining myself with something other than typical foods has also allowed me to start addressing my compulsive food habits and building willpower.

The meal replacement plan I use is by Herbalife. Their weight loss plan involves replacing two meals a day with shakes and taking nutritional supplements with all meals to ensure adequate nutrient intake. The shakes are made from Herbalife's powder formula and your milk of choice. Depending on what milk you use, the shakes are fairly low in kilojoules. Currently, I use the shakes dependent on my mood. If I just can't do a shake, then I'm pretty happy to change it with a healthy meal.

3. Eating Lots of Vegetables, Fruits and Whole Foods
Bodies love that stuff. I partake in the school of thinking that our bodies are made to consume this stuff and so probably benefit from a diet high in foods that are natural. While I haven't eliminated processed foods from my diet (see point 2 above), I try to focus on adding and substituting in lots whole foods, especially vegetables. It helps to keep my kilojoules down, while making sure my body is getting lots of nutrients.

4. Drinking Water
I know water is not a food, but maintaining adequate hydration helps me to feel less hungry. The body has difficulty distinguishing between hunger and thirst signals, and often when I'm underhydrated I tend to feel hungry more often and end up eating more. This was part of the difficulties I had last week. Proper hydration is no doubt also important in helping the digestive system do it's job.

Although not all of these things will work for everyone, they have been really working for me so far. I think the key is to find out what makes sense to you and what you can reasonably stick to. Let me know what food based plans you're using and having success with!

The Master Plan: My Goals

I’m taking a bit of a wholistic approach to goals, by setting more than weight based check-points. Weight loss is my biggest focus, but on its own, it isn’t enough to a) motivate me, and b) help me make the changes I want to make. For this reason, I’ve included my meta-goal of “living a happier life”. After all, it’s the reason I want to lose weight. Acknowledging this goal will help me to stay mindful of why I am doing this. When things get difficult, I’m going to need the bigger picture to keep me ploughing through.

I’ve also included “focus on happiness” to my goals. I know that being happier does not begin and end with losing weight. For this reason, I think it’s important for me to do focus on it as a standalone goal.

Each goal, I’ve broken down into little, tangible steps, to make following them more easily. If each day, I can do all, some or even one of these things, then I’m going in the right direction.  The steps are:

• Count kilojoules – this has been so incredibly helpful with keeping me on track so far. A big part of how I’m fighting this battle in the early stages is by working on reducing my kilojoules. It’s also been helpful in teaching me about foods and portion sizes. Having an inner awareness of kilojoule density and appropriate portion sizes is just not something that I’ve got right now, so count I must!
• Focus on eating for fuel – this one’s a bit multifaceted. For me, it means eating structured healthy meals and snacks, but also stacking my meals with fruit, veg and unprocessed foods. Striving to eat foods that are good for my body will not only help me lose weight, but also give me something else to work towards. In the past, when trying to lose weight, I’d never focused on this, and would continue to eat highly processed foods, like those I ate when I wasn’t trying, only the “healthier” options. Each time, I’d end up sliding back into eating the crap I had before, because it wasn’t a bit leap to make.
• Exercise to increase fitness – I don’t like exercising. Shoot me, I’m human. Right now, I don’t even find potential weight loss is enough to motivate me to workout. But, that’s ok. Food is my major obstacle in losing weight right now, because my relationship with it is so out of whack (I’ll be explaining this in a future post). What I do find motivating enough to get of my generous behind and get moving is the idea of improving my fitness. The idea of finding everyday tasks physically easier because my body is stronger interests me much more at this stage, so this is what I will focus on.
• Learn to say no to food and cravings – this is a big one for me. I crave food like nobody’s business, to the point where it is a compulsion. Just eating better and less doesn’t work for me, for this reason. I need to LEARN how to say no when the needless cravings for food hit. The more I say no, the easier it will get.
• BLOG! – blogging adds an extra level of accountability. Knowing that my achievements and failures will be out there for even a few to read gives me extra motivation, and I need all the motivation I can get.

My general happiness goals are:

• Do something that I enjoy each week – this can be something big or small. It’s selfish, but will help me to stay out of the “woe is me, life is too hard” mindset.
• Say yes to things – I avoid anything I’m not 100% comfortable with. I especially avoid doing a lot of things because of my weight. From now on, I’m going to forget about all of the reasons I want to hide at home, and just do them.
• Take time to be thankful – I have a lot to be thankful for, and I don’t appreciate that enough.

Let me know in the comments if you've set yourself general goals too, or if you have any suggestions for me to add to mine.