Weekly Weigh-In: Week 16 (AKA my first gain)

So it turns out that for the past few weeks I haven't just been slack about posting on this here blog, I've also been slack on my weight loss. As a result, I've had my first gain of 2.5 kg over the past two weeks. Yikes!

Gains happen, and this one is probably overdue, but it's still not a nice feeling to slide so quickly backwards. Probably worse than knowing that I've gained weight, however, is knowing that I've made some really bad decisions and indulged in terrible habits that I was fighting so hard to break. It was getting easier to say no to the bad habits, and I still let them creep back in during a time of weakness. Now, I have to go back to the beginning and almost start again. But, if that's what I have to do, then that's what I will do.

I've seen versions of this quote posted on many blogs and pinterest boards over the last few months, and it couldn't be more relevant to me right now. I have a choice to make, and at the end of the day, neither option is easy. But there is one option that will make me happy, and I have to keep reminding myself of this.

To help me get back to it, I've broken down all of the little things that I need to do to help me stay on track:

1. Count kilojoules - I haven't recorded kilojoules or even kept track in my head for weeks. I've spoken before about how invaluable recording my intake has been, and it's a fundamental part of getting back on track.
2. Drinking water - I was abysmal at this before I lost the plot, but it really is important in helping me to lose weight and keep my body running well.
3. Exercising - I have not exercised in nearly a month (eep!), and I really need to just kick myself up the butt and do it. The cold weather and end of Daylight Savings has meant that my walks on the beach have stopped, so I need to decide on a new way to get moving that will keep me motivated.
4. Blogging more - blogging keeps me focused. Putting my thoughts down in writing helps me to better understand myself and my struggles, which in turn makes it easier to push on. Writing and talking about losing weight on a regular basis also motivates me no end, and keeps it at the forefront of my mind. Not to mention, I'm incredibly motivated and cheered on by the amazing people who stop by this space every now and then and even leave comments. We may be strangers but you've already done so much to help me along my way, so thank you.
5. Reading weight loss blogs - I've found some amazing weight loss blogs over the past few months, whose writers inspire and delight me. Unfortunately, I've been neglecting them too over the past month, and it's high time to get back to reading them regularly.
6. Organising my weekly meals - this is something that I was pretty fantastic at until very recently (if I to say so myself) and it helped to keep me on track. This week I will get back into the habit of creating a weekly meal plan and doing my regular once a week shop.
7. Say no to takeaway - I will not eat takeaway this week. I will not eat takeaway this week. I will not eat takeaway this week. I will not eat takeaway this week. Takeaway food is a big downfall for me. It's rarely healthy and is one of those trigger foods that I tend to lose control over. I am more likely to binge on takeaway food that anything I make at home. Unfortunately we've recently found a new Chinese restaurant that does a yummy chow mein with the most delicious crunchy noodles. I could eat those crunchy noodles by the kilo. But I will not, no matter how delicious those crunchy little bastards are.
8. Set time aside for me - I need time to be selfish. Work has been really picking up lately, which is amazing, but it's left me a little time poor. Taking even a little chunk of time and only doing something I feel like doing will help me to feel less busy and out of control.

There are a lot of steps to take, and I could probably even add some more, but I will take my time and do what I can. I would love to jump straight back to doing all of these things simultaneously, but it's definitely more realistic to look at it as a gradual thing. If nothing else, this week I would like to count my kilojoules and not eat takeaway. These two things are pretty achievable, yet important. I will let you know how I go!

Have you ever had a gain and/or fallen off track? If so, what helped you to get back on track?

3 Month Progress Pictures!

It's time for my three month progress pictures! I took my before pictures when I started this blog, which was two months (and nine kilograms) into my actual weight loss. So, it's been three months since then and I've been a bit anxious about taking the progress pictures, if I'm honest. In my mind I know I've lost a lot of weight, but there's something different about seeing it in pictures. Anyway, check them out below.

The top picture is my before photo, and the bottom ones I took just over a week ago. I think I see a bit of a difference, which is exciting. It's hard to tell because of the slight difference in scale and poor quality (for which I apologise, I am definitely not talented when it comes to arranging or scaling pictures), but I definitely think that it's there.

It looks like my general shape has changed and shrunk a bit, and my butt seems to be smaller. The main point of difference that I've noticed in the mirror, which you can't really tell from the before picture because my arm is in the way, is in my back. In the second picture, the curve of my back comes in quite far, which it never used to.

I wasn't expecting to see an enormous difference in these progress photos, but I'm really happy with the changes I can see. It's very hard for me to look at myself objectively, so I'm not really sure just how much of a difference I notice in these pictures, but there definitely IS a difference. There's no doubt that my body is slowly shrinking, and my clothes and measurements are confirming that at the moment.

Now that these progress photos are done, I can't wait to take my six month progress photos to compare to my befores. I definitely think I will see some good changes in those!

If you're on a weight loss mission too, let me know in the comments below if you've taken any before and during/after photos, and the biggest changes you've noticed since starting to drop the weight.

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 14

I'm back! I apologise for my lack of posts over the past two weeks, I've been so very slack. Because I didn't weigh in last week, this weeks post is a bit of a two-for-one. I'm happy to report a loss of 0.7 kg over the last two weeks.

I was pretty happy when I finally stepped back on the scales today and saw a loss. The last two weeks haven't been my best. Some bad news has made it a stressful time, and I've let myself slide. I've been mindful not to gorge myself like I would have pre-fresh start, but I have had more naughty meals than I should have.

To be completely honest, I'm feeling frustrated at the moment. I feel like I'm constantly trying to get back on the wagon, and every time I do something goes wrong to knock me off. Though I'm proud of myself for not going back to old habits when this happens, I'm frustrated that I haven't been able to keep up any sort of momentum. I'm hoping that the ability to maintain focus and good habits even through bad times is something that comes with time, and at the end of the day all that matters is that I'm still here willing to do what it takes to get back to it. Here's hoping that I get back to a place where I feel more consistent.

This week, it's time for my 3 months progress photos, so be sure to check back for those soon! I'm anxious but excited to see if there's a noticible difference.

Some Unwanted Perspective

Losing weight takes a certain level of selfishness. It's a difficult time that takes an incredible degree of focus placed firmly on yourself. I've been keenly aware of how hard it is. I think about it a lot. I pat myself on the back when I overcome all of my little hurdles, and I occasionally feel overwhelmed by the difficulty of what I'm trying to achieve. Sometimes I get sad or mad, because I've got so much hard work in front of me. And I do have a lot of work in front of me, but that's it. It's just hard work. It's only weight loss. It's only food. If this is the hardest thing that I have to do this year, then I am lucky.

Apart from my weight, I am a happy and healthy person. I can and am changing the worst thing in my life. Regardless of how crap this whole thing can be, I have the power to do something about it. I have the freedom of choice. I should be incredibly grateful to have that.

I'm sad to say that this realisation has come because someone I love very much going through something horrible and beyond their control. Life has been incredibly unfair to them, and has been generous enough to make my biggest care in the world something that lies in my hands. I feel like the worlds biggest jerk for ever feeling down for what I've gone through. It's not right how much thought I've given to how difficult my journey was going to be, when I should have been thanking the universe that I have choice on my side.

Right now, I'm feeling very sadly humbled by this new perspective. I know that it makes no difference to the person to whom I owe it. I really wish it did. The only thing I can take from it is the resolve to use the opportunities I am given and to not take them for granted.